I was Happier
Rabbi Yehudah ben Shomeyr
Who’s been
thinking the same thing but is afraid to admit it? What do I mean? What I means
is; you are so thankful for being brought to the revelation of Truth of the Jewishness
of Messiah and the Truth of being Torah Obedient within the footsteps of
Messiah that you do not in any way question or plan to turn back on these
things, but if you were brutally honest with yourself, your spirit was happier
(despite the paganism and denominational politics) in Christianity. There, I
said it! Stone me if you wish, at least I will die an honest man. I am secure
in the Truth and Faith I have found in Torah to admit that. Are you?
People are
afraid to voice this perhaps because it would be seen by others as a form of
Messianic/Natsari Backsliding or getting soft in ones newfound faith and
convictions regarding Torah.
So the
million dollar question that stands as tall as a multi-story skyscraper, in
bold, underlines letters of triple exclamation is:
WHY!!!???
We could
blame the Natsari cults and red-flaggers trying to highjack our faith and harsh
our buzz, but that would be a cop out. For we are responsible for our own
spirituality and if we are not a part of, but rather exposing such groups it
should have no pending upon our spiritual life except feeling the righteous indignation
Yeshua felt toward the Temple moneychangers.
So why were
so many of us happier in Christianity?
1. Many of us have taken a black and
white, all or nothing approach and attitude towards Christianity, because we
feel betrayed by it and are disgusted with the paganism within it that we
swallowed for so many years. Thus we throw the baby out with the bath water and
anything labled “Christian” or “Jesus” we curl our lip in disgust and say, “Bah!”
with a dismissive hand.
Christianity is not perfect, but neither is Natsari Judaism
and the vast majority of Christianity is steeped paganism via ignorance and this
ignorance God winks at (Acts 17:30) until our revelation of the Truth of
Messiah and Torah is revealed personally to us. It’s true, else we would have
never received the revelation and be Torah obedient believers as we are now!
Are you really going to try and tell me that that wasn’t the
Holy Spirit (Ruach HaKodesh) you felt all those years in Christianity!? You’d
better not, you know better (Mark 3:29)!
2. After jumping into the Hebraic-ness
of the Faith with both feet, embracing the customs, tradition, dress and lingo
and you have your honeymoon phase, you begin to grow stale and ridged and begin
to get rabbinic, stoic and duty takes precedence over obedience through love. Slowly
allowing yourself to believe like the Pharisees and Judaizers that the
traditions linked with Torah are on par with the Torah Mitzvot themselves!
Feeling for example that if you do not wear a kippah, you’re sinning, or that something
is wrong with you if you admit you hate gefilte fish, or that you like coffee
house praise and worship better than Messianic music or if you do not don
tefillin for every prayer you are sinning. This signals the closing of the openness
you have to the Ruach HaKodesh and the increasing gap between you and your
personal relationship with God! You can’t hold hands with your lover while your
hand is grasping a manmade book of rules. Even if we do not keep tradition but
follow Torah we oft times forget that the Torah is a Ketuvah (Marital Contract of
Love) and not necessarily a books of Laws and Rules. Our sincere but misplaced zealousness
has become our shackles.
3. Comparing your life, practice and
spirituality to that of a non-believing orthodox Jew and trying to conform your
life to that of which you see yet do not fully understand or comprehend. Why would you want to model your life after a
non-believer that hates the Messiah who you love and whose Halacha you choose
to follow? Some of us foolishly think the Orthodox Jew is closer to God and has
it all figured out because they never got rid of the Torah. But without
Messiah, they are just as lost and flawed as any unbeliever and disgruntled,
angry gullible believers are falling for it and end up denying Messiah. Issues
such as these quench (I Thess. 5:19) the spontaneity and move of the Ruach
HaKodesh in our life.
I’m no wannabe who will eventually succumb to “Stockholm Syndrome.” I am a Proud Torah Obedient Believer in
Messiah Yeshua!
4. Criticizing and making fun of Christians
and Messianics for their ignorance which
God winks at (Acts 17:30) is like asking Yeshua and His Disciples why they don’t
wash their hands or fast and it gives us a spirit of Scrooge instead of the Spirit
of Messiah. Criticizing other Natsarim because they do not practice or believe exactly
the way you do also makes our Christian days happier than our Torah obedient ones.
Why? Because this is not humility but killer pride in its most self-righteous
smug form.
Walking in
the Torah Obedient Halacha of Messiah Yeshua and having structure that submits
to the leading of the Holy Spirit that turns a blind eye to religious critics
and taskmasters is the only way we can regain freedom and our happiness we had before
we threw it out in a garbage bag at the curb along with everything else we labelled
as “Not Jewish”.
If you’re
not and I’m not happy; we have no one to blame but ourselves. I for one refuse
to wallow any longer in the muck and mire of the religio-politico pigpen. I am
going to be a Torah Obedient Believer in Messiah Yeshua according to His Word
on my own terms in an intimate and personal relationship with Him and forget
those who will dog me because I have made and use my own tefillin or if I like
Keith Green and Jeremy Camp better than Paul Wilbur. I follow Messiah’s Halacha,
not that of the Breslov or Lubavitchers!
I guarantee you;
with this new Hebraic Year I will be happier as a Natsarim than I ever was as a
Christian. I am making it a personal mission. I am going to live my life with
abandonment for Him and not care who stands by to wag their fingers and tongues
and cast stones at me. After all, I’m in a relationship, not a religion.
You have the
chutzpah (guts) to be in?
